I am finding myself compaining lately. I hate that. My complaint is valid for a middle class member of society: I want to do something relevant and important in life. I want to make a difference and do something that counts (where I can maintain an income). Something challenging but fun!
As I think this, my mind wanders to a documentary I saw the other night with kelly called "God Grew Tired of Us" about the Lost Boys of Sudan. When some of the men immigrated to America they had dreams of working and sending home money to their friend-family. In a refugee camp where they had a sense of community and cultural relevancy while suffering from hunger and disease, the American experience was overwhelming. Just from first thought, it would be obvious the bustling cities and technology would be the cause. At first, yes. But the reality of it was the lack of community and culture among Americans. These Lost Boys were truly lost in America. Most of them worked 2 jobs, leaving at 5am and getting home between 11-2am. Just to do it all over again. They missed their brothers. People weren't friendly. America wasn't the dream they had hoped, but they were just glad to be free from violence and suffering.
While I am complaining about not having the perfect/dream job (which I do in many ways), there are people that don't have an option to even dream about such luxuries. A job is a job and pays the bills. I still would like to do more, I just can't figure out in what capacity.
On a hopeful note, I think people can make change in ways that has nothing to do with a job. One of the men from the movie ended up being the Secretary of a Sudanese Council to advocate to the government for continued support of the ongoing trouble in Sudan. Outside of his job opportunites, he rose to leadership. I am going to challenge myself to this: developing my identity and doing the things I'm good at well, really well. Stay in Jax? not sure. if i do, i'm going to commit to something in service and also develop a hobby.
anyway, tonight i am taking a break from hanging out with people for some "me time" and also "cleaning my apartment time" while my face is peeling from a bad sunburn this week. I have barely been home in 2 weeks so it needs a good scrubbing!