tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18486941727153956872024-03-05T01:17:45.307-08:00harvesting the moonUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger98125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-73431978136693589032015-06-10T05:13:00.004-07:002015-06-10T05:13:55.179-07:00Fast ForwardQuick update: married & pregnant.<br />
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life lessons:<br />
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1. when you marry your opposite who you have a handful of philosophies and interests in common (like 3) then life is a challenge in being more open.<br />
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2. marriage is hard work even if you love someone so much that it makes you cry when you watch a romantic movie and one lover dies (obviously because you could never imagine living without your partner)<br />
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3. hard work does not mean planning more date nights or being more romantic. it means compromising when you don't want to. it means sticking around when someone is mad and says something hurtful. it means talking through those communication fumbles and being on the same team when you'd rather root for the other. it means being firm on the things that are important and letting go on the things that really are just more of social constructs.<br />
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4. mad respect for moms. pregnancy is a beast and i've never had my body betray me in every imaginable way. our maker designed us to start living a life of flexibility, compassion, understanding, and sacrifice before the child even enters into our post-utero world. i feel more prepared for child birth, long waking hours, sleeplessness, being uncomfortable, diaper rashes, and many other unmentionables (not that i have a problem but my mother would say it's unladylike to talk about bowel movements).<br />
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5. i can get rid of stuff. this has been the hardest thing but recently, i find myself throwing away things i have stored for years: clothes, decorations, gift wrapping, items i "might" use one day, etc. i'm finally making room for my husband and my child by shedding some of me - the unused and cluttered parts of me to make room for an even better version of myself.<br />
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6. i look around at my unkempt house and it hits me why keeping a clean house is so important now that i'm becoming a mother. this is the environment which i will raise another human being. is it okay to forget the chores every now and then? to me, yes. BUT the environment is so much mentally healthier when everything is in its place. [our bedroom is awful right now].<br />
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7. being controlling has worked for me in the past [safety and anxiety relief] but it doesn't work when you are married. learning to trust the man in my life has been the hardest thing but i'm convinced he is the only person who could help me with this issue. still a work in progress and i'm sure we have a lot more learning to do once the baby comes.<br />
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8. i will only recommend marriage to those who want a difficult life. to those who are willing to see what they are made of and to really learn about sacrifice, compromise, and commitment. In the world of choosing a mate by swiping left or right based on a person's looks and interests - i think we are losing touch with what we are pursuing. it's not a hot date or even a companion - but a commitment.<br />
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In college when i was single, I could easily spend time with 5 different guys in 2 weeks. men were dispensable. I had a boyfriend for 3 years but the commitment was an issue for each of us - we just weren't 100% about marriage. Not until I met Bryce did i learn what commitment meant. He sticks to his word and 99% of the time never goes back on it unless i make him be flexible. I change my mind often. i'm a feeling person. so if i don't feel like doing something - even if i have promised, i go with my feeling. there is some personal history, logic, and reason behind this - but it does not make a marriage.<br />
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some days i "feel" like i hate Bryce because he won't listen to me or do what i ask. he says things where i end up feeling upset. in that moment i think, "i'm done." and guess what, my personal history says that i would be done. it's my little safeguard for my heart. when it starts to feel stomped on - i just remove myself, my feelings, and my brain. "out of sight, out of mind." Bryce never let me do this and i will be a better person because of this. i truly adore him but i've developed some unhealthy patterns to protect myself from users/abusers. again, that does not make for a healthy, happy, or lasting marriage.<br />
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9. having my own interests is important. i have always waited around for a guy and got into whatever he did. dang, that's boring. there's only so much you can do with another person and then it just comes down to watching a ton of tv together.<br />
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10. pregnancy has a way of taking away all of your interests because your body can't keep up. i was super excited about doing theater again, even small parts, but now it's almost out of the question. but at least i have found something i am excited to explore again: theater and tennis. i'm hoping to do crafting, writing, or pursuing a side project in the next couple of years if possible. i also want to spend time in the wild with my family and take my son outdoors. my dad intentionally took us camping, hiking, and exploring and i hope to do that with my son. Bryce is more of a builder/maker/strategist so i expect him to teach those skills.<br />
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overall, i am intrigued with this part of my life and just saying "I do" instead of... "well, let me think about it, analyze it, and see if there is a statistically significant chance this might work." Sometimes jumping in and making that commitment to a path has its own set of rewards.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-67005502078704957542014-08-30T06:34:00.002-07:002014-08-30T06:34:34.350-07:00Rock Being Single & Living AloneBeing single can feel utterly lonely, especially if you are living in a new city away from old friends and family. People have their cliques, are coupling up, getting married, having kids and you are like...I guess I'll stay at work until 8pm. Your dishes stack up, there are piles of clothes in every corner of your living areas, and let's face it...there are few reasons to stop binge watching Netflix and eating cereal in bed.<br />
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Just stop. You are better than this. Don't wait to live your life when you find a companion. Here are some helpful things to rock being single and not daydream about the day you'll have a lifetime roommate before it's the right person.<br />
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1. Stock toilet paper within arms reach of toilet. REPLENISH FREQUENTLY. Have a backup pack in storage. This is often overlooked but VERY important.<br />
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2. Stock Gatorade, sinus/cold/flu/NyQuil and nasal spray and soup for sick days. You might have friends but most will stay far away from you if they suspect your house is covered in tissue paper (also a good reason to stock up on toilet paper).<br />
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3. Have a pe that forces you out of bed on the weekends. They'll cuddle, keep you company, and give you someone to talk to...even if you are fussing at them.<br />
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4. Some might say keep fridge stocked with beer & wine but I say keep frozen fruit in little bags for those snacky-bored times. Healthy option and won't make you depressed like alcohol does to your system.<br />
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5. Keep a yoga at, weights, and computer/tv hook up so you can exercise at a moment's notice when bored and no one is free to hang out.<br />
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6. Stay in at least two nights a week to clean, do laundry, and spend some quiet time reading, meditating and getting your spiritual health check-up.<br />
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7. Have one night a where you invite neighbors or acquaintances to dinner or dessert. This might be the scariest thing for an introvert or someone with low self-confidence. Just do it.<br />
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8. Bake for your neighbors or do something thoughtful. Again...connections.<br />
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9. Get rid of clutter and donate items to a real charity, not just Goodwill (a multi million dollar company).<br />
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10. Decorate our house - please don't seep on a mattress and furnish your house with milk crates and other dumpster finds. Create a living space you would be proud of having these new neighbors and friends over to. Splash some paint on the walls and a few mirrors or splurge on thrift store finds that make up a cool eclectic vibe. Thrift store furniture can be amazing with some paint, new handles, and good placement.<br />
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11. Save money for emergencies - at least $1000. This will help you continue living on your own without moving back in with your parents. It will be tempting and they may dangle "free rent" over your heads....but here is the secret....they don't want you to get married or to live as an adult. They want you to hang around and be their baby forever even if they push you to "grow up." It is a trick!<br />
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12.Call your college friends regularly - not facebook them - call them. At least once a month.<br />
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13. Take mini-trips even during the workweek to explore nature trails, sites within 2 hours of where yo live: hike, kayak, caoe, swim, bike, etc.<br />
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14. Have a standing date night once a month with a good friend.<br />
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15. Join a non-profit board or young professionals group. Get on a committee that you can really make a difference in.<br />
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16. Go to the doctor regularly for check-ups. It may cost about $150 a year, but it will help out down the road and prevent anxieties about bigger bills (cavities for example).<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-22589856926161369572014-03-18T18:25:00.004-07:002014-03-18T18:25:59.347-07:00One Life to LiveHeard a movie quote saying <i>"I just have one life to live and I want it to mean something."</i><br />
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That's about where I am right now. I'm busting my ass at work doing my part to make the world a little bit better in this moment for kids in Jacksonville and for people who work with kids here.<br />
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My personal life is hell because I've never really cared about myself. I have everything I want but it's disheveled and at any moment's notice could fall off the rocky cliff it's hanging on to with a blow of a mood swing or lack of sleep.<br />
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Some people wait for Jesus to save them - but all of my praying and singing hasn't made me feel whole. It's the quiet moments in peace that brings me back to life. I came to a realization this week that I don't think I know Jesus. I thought I did my whole life. Then, I realized he lived a long time ago. I've made up the Jesus that I love in my head. His image brings me comfort, reassurance, and rest.<br />
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"Come to me you who are weary and heavy-burdened and I will give you rest." That puts my racing mind to ease - soothing my anxious mind. But that doesn't make him present with me or even culturally relevant as a white American middle class single female.<br />
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This week I've felt a sense of mortality and I don't want to live pleasing other people. I don't want to carry a label over my head and I don't care to assign them to others either. This is huge for me when it comes to living out my faith. From what I've experienced being with and around people is that to me, The whole point of belief in a god is hope and connecting to ourselves/others.<br />
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Everyone practices their own version of faith (especially inside of faith traditions). Most people get ideas from their god (prophesies) and judgements. All of them are so different. How can Christians say Mormons are whack when we believe that Paul heard Jesus and was preached to after Jesus died. Muslims think Christians are evil (Westerners) but they murder each other in the streets and rape women as a part of their faith.<br />
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To say one is right and another is wrong is an interesting concept. Who can TRULY know? Isn;t that the whole point of faith? That you cannot know but must have a supernatural power to believe in that which we cannot see?<br />
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I really like people who believe in God - the spirit of people, love, forgiveness, encouragement, compassion, mercy, and justice. I just don't understand why we give so much authority to pastors to reveal truth when in reality we need spiritual guides. People who help guide us to look inward and grow, to shake off fear - insecurities - hate - narcissism - vanity - etc. People who guide us to live sacrificially, accept others, and show kindness to the vulnerable populations instead of preach fear of people who are different.<br />
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So, with this said. I have one life and I want it to mean something. I don't want to live in a shell of fear of not knowing or living in limbo with my faith. I just want to blossom and create a happy home starting with my spirit.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-57272399895605000912013-11-17T07:10:00.003-08:002013-11-17T07:10:56.825-08:00This American Life<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world."</i> CS Lewis</div>
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<b>In My Head</b><br />
Lately, just been feeling incomplete. Yearning for more and learning life is just a progression of the next step. Why go to college? So you can get a job. Why get a job? So you can earn money. Why earn money? So you can buy stuff. Why buy stuff? So you can impress people and get a date. Why get a date? So you can maybe get married. Why get married? So you can have kids. Why have kids? So you can be happy and raise them to do all the things mentioned earlier. It's just a non-stop cycle of repeating humanity.<br />
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<b>Coming To Terms</b><br />
In order to be at peace with my life, my choices, and the things I can't control I look to eternity and find hope in the crucifixion of Christ. I'm just human and there is a certain order to our life here, but because of Christ, I get the chance to be born-again and live a resurrected life. A life undetermined by human standards and instead a life of freedom from that cyclical bondage. A life where I get full support in my identity, healing from my past life, and unconditional love from my maker. I get to have adopted family members from all-over the world as brothers and sisters in Christ --- totally demolishing segregation, intolerance, and narcissism that culture emits. #selfie #girlsnight #america<br />
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<b>Reality</b><br />
Right now, I'm in a desert when it comes to my life as a Christian. I feel dried out, thirsting for drink but feeling hopeless to finding an oasis. Too scared to even start the journey to seek, worried that there's nothing out there or it's all just been a mirage.<br />
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<b>Holy Spirit Makeover</b><br />
When I think of my life as a follower of Christ, I can imagine starting off it would look pretty much the same. I'd go to a Bible Study or Life Group but it would feel insincere and unnatural (social awkwardness and intimacy issues due to childhood bullying). Over time, maybe something would happen like real spiritual connectedness and growth. Instead of plumping up on theological head knowledge, it would start to change my heart.<br />
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Maybe all of the things I yearn for would start happening because I wouldn't be living in a way to satisfy my body, but my soul. The past 10 years I've been living to satisfy my loneliness by filling it with activities and boyfriends. That's a long f*ing time (curse word totally appropriate for that). Because of that I've missed out on building myself and who I want to be so that I can be who someone else might want from me. Maybe I could have grown into maturity and done what I've actually wanted to do since I was 20…. being a foster mom.<br />
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<b>What Now?</b><br />
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Instead of just making changes, I need to start with a heart operation. It's been dead under the premise of being alive. Artificially pumping from the American pacemaker. Apparently, the real Gospel of Christ (The good news preached by Jesus) is that by death to ourselves ---getting rid of the pacemaker --we actually get new life in the spirit and satisfy that which cannot be satisfied in the body.<br />
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Earthly things will always make me smile and happy: kittens, puppies, sweet tea, sunny days, hugs from my mom, watches, checklists, candles, good books, kissing, etc. Rarely will I be satisfied eternally and filled with joy or hope from these momentary things. On the other hand, knowing that I was created intimately and loved deeply makes all of those things sweeter. Instead of getting things to be happy, praying over things to know that it won't and to let go of our expectations (actually a pretty Buddhist ideology as well).<br />
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I'd like to get back to me, the unchained and healed version of me, so that I can live the life I was created for. No matter how simple. Culture wants us to believe we are special and kings of our life. Then reality hits and it's grossly depressing how ordinary we are meant to be. Extraordinary people aren't rich and famous but are courageous, upright, and honorable. Instead of sitting around watching other famous people on tv or shopping to look rich, I'm going to "do" instead of "be."I have started designing my house on my own without copying a pinterest or southern living photo. I am really looking forward to the building stage and metaphorically building the support to hold up an honorable life.<br />
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Peace. -LC<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-5279305341993569492013-08-16T05:32:00.001-07:002013-08-16T05:32:11.449-07:00Rotting Beauty<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); font-family: '.Helvetica NeueUI'; font-size: 17px;">I have to post this because it really freaked me out. Last night before bed I was reading some of Jesus's last teachings. He talked about how the religious leaders/pharisees were like beautiful moratoriums with dried rotting bones inside. They loved following the Jewish law but totally ignored these three things: justice, mercy, and faithfulness. He went so far as to call them "Vipers" which I'd assume is another word for Satan or the devil.</span><br />
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Last night I dreamt that I was turned into a witch by a very beautiful witch leader. We had these cool powers and such but she was dark and bitter. I asked her if I could still get pregnant and she laughed because now we were rotting on the inside/womb was dead but still beautiful on the outside</div>
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. It just hit home what I had read and how on the outside we can have everything together, know every bible verse, do good works, be convinced that we are incredibly wise/intelligent but without being born with a new heart then we are dead inside. </div>
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Love is transformational and I think that was Jesus's message. The Gospel is good news because Jesus said I WILL DIE so that You can live and have a new spirit. Not one of greed and self righteousness but true righteousness through God. </div>
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He made this available to all people in the world, not just the Jews or "chosen" people. Religion is mostly specific to a cultural group but his love is for all and the price has already been paid. You can't earn His love through prayer 5x a day, through sacrifice, or abstaining from eating beef/pork, or making shrines. </div>
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Micah 6:8 is one of my favorite verses from the Old Testament: and what does The Lord require of you? To act justly, love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. </div>
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Jesus gives the insight of godliness when the disciples admonish Jesus for spending time with children (only those with faith like a child will enter the kingdom of heaven) and with women who shower him with tears and love (he cared deeply for women and showed them great justice and mercy in a culture/time period so quick to stone them or sell them for marriage). </div>
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Love God & Love people were the two greatest commands...</div>
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So now that I have insight to what rotting from the inside is like I'm drawn closer to love God for redeeming me of this fate. My goal is not to be a Christian just so I can get good gifts and go to heaven but to be transformed and alive from the inside out! My life here and now will be complete and I'll be alive and free from the bondage of the temporary advertisements of this world. Get rich quick, be beautiful with this new surgery, just buy this and you'll be happy consumer mentality. Instead, I'll fill it with grace, love, mercy. Live out a life worthy of His death. And be resurrected with his love.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-41510703126794346992013-07-15T04:54:00.001-07:002013-07-15T05:11:15.369-07:00Justice and Wisdom<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Justice systems on earth will never be perfect because mankind is made up of individual beings whose individual needs and beliefs are different from the others. How can this be when our souls cry out for justice? Absolute Justice has no bounds of race, religion, or creed. Where do we get this concept of justice from even when it may not be consistent in our world?<br />
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This is a great passage from the Bible, Proverbs 21:<br />
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<i>"All a man's ways seem right to him, but the Lord weighs the heart." -verse 2</i><br />
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<i>"To do what is just and right is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice." -verse 3</i><br />
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<i>"Haughty eyes and a proud heart, the lamp of the wicked, are sin!"</i><br />
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<i>"The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty."</i><br />
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<i>"A fortune made my a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a deadly snare."</i><br />
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<i>"The violence of the wicked will drag them away, for they refuse to do what is right."</i><br />
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<i>"The way of the guilty is devious, but the conduct of the innocent is upright."</i><br />
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<i>"The Righteous One takes note of the house of the wicked and brings the wicked to ruin."</i><br />
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<i>"If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered."</i><br />
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<i>"When justice is done, it brings joy to the righteous but terror to the evil doers."</i><br />
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<i>"A man who strays from the path of understanding comes to rest in the company of the dead."</i><br />
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<i>"He who loves pleasure will become poor; whoever loves wine and oil will never be rich."</i><br />
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<i>"He who pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor."</i><br />
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<i>"The sluggard's craving will be the death of him, because his hands refuse to work. All day long he craves for more, but the righteous give without sparing."</i><br />
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<i>"A wicked man puts up a bold front, but an upright man gives thought to his ways."</i><br />
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<i>"There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord."</i><br />
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<i>"The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord." -verse 31</i><br />
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Now I left out a few verses, mostly about keeping away from a nagging wife. We see a lot of truth in these proverbs from Solomon, the wise king giving his heir his most valuable treasure: wisdom.<br />
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In the midst of unrest over the way we handle justice, I would suggest this: let's all work together to solve the real problem. Let's love our God, love our children, and love our neighbors. If we work together to end crime and not encourage a culture of hate and violence against women or minorities then we won't find another Trayvon Martin case.<br />
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We will create community based on love and must trust that trusting in Jesus can heal wounds made by man. Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice and unjustly died a criminal's death. His resurrection redeemed all of man and created equality between free and slaves, Jew and non-Jew, man and woman, gay & straight, colored skin and white, educated and uneducated. So cry out to your Abba, Father and proclaim your inheritance and ask for wisdom and justice! Galatians 3:26-29, 4:1-7<br />
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We must take a moment and look inward, no matter how painful it might be to find that plank in our own eye. But don't just find it; remove it. How are we each working to end a culture of hate for our brothers and sisters? While protest brings attention to issues, let's do the real boots on the ground work. Let's go into the Sanderfords, Jacksonvilles, and New Yorks to keep kids off the streets, women from being trafficked as sex slaves, and men from lifestyles of addiction and abuse.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-24840355350950335932013-06-29T07:06:00.002-07:002013-06-29T07:06:32.454-07:00Freedom<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It is a human right to experience freedom in yourself. Bondage to the ideology of the officials in power creates hostility in peaceful people. God is not a politician, not a race, not a sexual being, not a man in body, but a spirit and creator of ALL people. To assign these attributes as better or less than is not of God.<br />
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The attributes we can assign to God are love, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and justice to name a few. These are the law: Love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself. To break these are sin. I am convinced of this and there will be justice for how you spend time in your physical body.<br />
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Our ideas about the value of people have changed over time with more exposure to the heart of people and education. We are all human. There are evil people but that is not determined by who you love but by how you love. If you love someone by controlling them, putting them down, raping, abusing then that is evil. You cannot both love and despise someone at the same time. Jesus said, if you harbor hate in your heart someone, you have broken the commandment, "Though shalt not commit murder." If one of you causes a child to stumble then you are accountable.<br />
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I teach my students the law of physics when we discuss anger and violence. "<i>For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.</i>" We discuss exactly what the equal reaction to hate would be and the opposite reaction. Then we discuss the consequences and benefits to both. They get to choose their reaction. When you stir anger, the equal reaction feels good in the moment and builds pride. The opposite reaction takes longer to find justice but ends in peace.<br />
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I say all of this because I am angry. I am angry about injustice everywhere and that it takes so long to understand and love each other. I hate that in other countries they use violence against men, women, and families because of unwillingness to connect. They torture and murder people of different races, skin colors, and religions. In Sudan and countries around the world Christian pastors and believers are imprisoned for years and tortured: ripping out fingernails, castration, regular beatings, etc. In GITMO people are imprisoned secretly for years and tortured without due process. People die from starvation around the world when I throw half of my food away because it's too much.<br />
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I feel powerless but I hold onto the sayings of Martin Luther King, Jr. "Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that." That is what being Christ-like is about.<br />
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<b>Recommended movie of the week:</b> "<i>Skin"</i> a story of a South African woman who is a light skinned African born by blood to two white parents. She endures incredible prejudice, even by her own family. Can be seen on Netflix Instant streaming.<br />
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<b>Recommended reading:</b> research stories about Near Death Experiences. The after-life is real and the stories are very similar. The message everyone generally gets when they choose whether to go back to their body is to love people and to stop living a life of hate. There are people missing from the afterlife. The people who proclaimed no God and were atheists faced an eternity of void and darkness. Read up on it and discover for yourself.<br />
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<b>1 Corinthians 13</b><br />
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<div class="chapter-2" style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: inherit;"><span class="text 1Cor-13-1" id="en-NIV-28667">If I speak in the tongues<sup class="footnote" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="[<a href="#fen-NIV-28667a" title="See footnote a">a</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%2013%20&version=NIV#fen-NIV-28667a" style="text-decoration: none; vertical-align: top;" title="See footnote a">a</a>]</sup><sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28667A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></sup> of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.</span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-2" id="en-NIV-28668"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">2 </sup>If I have the gift of prophecy<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28668B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></sup> and can fathom all mysteries<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28668C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></sup> and all knowledge,<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28668D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)"></sup> and if I have a faith<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28668E" title="See cross-reference E">E</a>)"></sup> that can move mountains,<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28668F" title="See cross-reference F">F</a>)"></sup> but do not have love, I am nothing.</span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-3" id="en-NIV-28669"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">3 </sup>If I give all I possess to the poor<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28669G" title="See cross-reference G">G</a>)"></sup> and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,<sup class="footnote" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="[<a href="#fen-NIV-28669b" title="See footnote b">b</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians%2013%20&version=NIV#fen-NIV-28669b" style="text-decoration: none; vertical-align: top;" title="See footnote b">b</a>]</sup><sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28669H" title="See cross-reference H">H</a>)"></sup> but do not have love, I gain nothing.</span></span></div>
<div class="chapter-2" style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: inherit;"><span class="text 1Cor-13-3"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: inherit;"><span class="text 1Cor-13-4" id="en-NIV-28670"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">4 </sup>Love is patient,<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28670I" title="See cross-reference I">I</a>)"></sup> love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28670J" title="See cross-reference J">J</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-5" id="en-NIV-28671"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">5 </sup>It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28671K" title="See cross-reference K">K</a>)"></sup> it is not easily angered,<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28671L" title="See cross-reference L">L</a>)"></sup> it keeps no record of wrongs.<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28671M" title="See cross-reference M">M</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-6" id="en-NIV-28672"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">6 </sup>Love does not delight in evil<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28672N" title="See cross-reference N">N</a>)"></sup> but rejoices with the truth.<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28672O" title="See cross-reference O">O</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-7" id="en-NIV-28673"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">7 </sup>It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28673P" title="See cross-reference P">P</a>)"></sup></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: inherit;"><span class="text 1Cor-13-7"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: inherit;"><span class="text 1Cor-13-8" id="en-NIV-28674"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">8 </sup>Love never fails. But where there are prophecies,<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28674Q" title="See cross-reference Q">Q</a>)"></sup> they will cease; where there are tongues,<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28674R" title="See cross-reference R">R</a>)"></sup> they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.</span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-9" id="en-NIV-28675"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">9 </sup>For we know in part<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28675S" title="See cross-reference S">S</a>)"></sup> and we prophesy in part,</span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-10" id="en-NIV-28676"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">10 </sup>but when completeness comes,<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28676T" title="See cross-reference T">T</a>)"></sup> what is in part disappears.</span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-11" id="en-NIV-28677"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">11 </sup>When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28677U" title="See cross-reference U">U</a>)"></sup> behind me.</span> <span class="text 1Cor-13-12" id="en-NIV-28678"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">12 </sup><i>For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror;<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28678V" title="See cross-reference V">V</a>)"></sup> then we shall see face to face.<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28678W" title="See cross-reference W">W</a>)"></sup> Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.</i><sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28678X" title="See cross-reference X">X</a>)"></sup></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: inherit;"><span class="text 1Cor-13-12"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span class="text 1Cor-13-13" id="en-NIV-28679"><span style="color: red; font-family: inherit;"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">13 </sup>And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28679Y" title="See cross-reference Y">Y</a>)"></sup> But the greatest of these is love.<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-28679Z" title="See cross-reference Z">Z</a>)"></sup></span></span></div>
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<span class="text 1Cor-13-13"><br /></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-35285175721275211852013-06-23T04:42:00.003-07:002013-06-29T07:09:31.799-07:00Being Spiritual<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 20px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 30px;">"The term used in Scripture for religion/religious speaks positively of an attitude of mind which results in genuine devotion to God. Acts of mercy, love and holiness, then, are religious. It is not far removed from the term spiritual, which refers to that from the Spirit, in contrast to the flesh, what is carnal. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 20px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 30px;">Biblically speaking, if you are truly spiritual, you naturally would be religious. If your life is focused on those things of God, who is Spirit, then it will influence what you do. Whether in worship or service, religion and spiritual are complimentary terms, as we are "living sacrifices" (religious) who are not conformed to the world but transformed by the will of God (spiritual - Romans 12:1-2)." </span>http://www.gospelgazette.com/gazette/2006/sep/page3.htm<br />
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<span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 20px; text-align: justify; text-indent: 30px;"><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/personal/06/03/spiritual.but.not.religious/index.html">Are there Dangers in Being Spiritual but Not Religious?</a></span><br />
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<a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steve-mcswain/christianity-is-dying-spirituality-is-thriving_b_1950804.html">Progressive Christianity</a><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; text-align: left;">"On the opposite end of our natural tendency to moralize life and suffering stands the counter-intuitive affirmation of Christianity. Christianity affirms that Jesus severed the link between suffering and deserving once for all on the cross. God put the ledgers away and settled the accounts. The good news of the Gospel is NOT that good people get good stuff. It's not that life is cyclical and that "what comes around goes around." Rather, it's that the bad get the best, the worst inherit the wealth and the slave becomes a son (</span><a href="http://biblia.com/bible/Rom.5.8" style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #771c85; cursor: pointer; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; list-style: none; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none;" target="_hplink">Romans 5:8</a><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Century, Times, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; text-align: left;">)." <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tullian-tchividjian/you-believe-in-karma_b_2006000.html">Kharma</a></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-72277716541550131932013-06-21T18:53:00.001-07:002013-06-21T18:53:33.263-07:00Wife Swap TherapyThe title probably explains itself and I need to write no more.<br />
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But I'll continue.<br />
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Wife Swap is the best show on the planet. It brings two polar opposite families into each other's lives highlighting the beautiful things in a family and the toxic parts. It's hard to know whether you are "normal" or not because we are all just an extension of how we were raised.<br />
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The families that have the best experience are the ones who are open to learning new "rules" from their new moms. Sometimes it just makes people grateful for all that their spouse does in the family. Sometimes it's realizing to let go a little. Often, it's just about spending more quality time with the ones closest to you.<br />
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It made me realize that I don't need to go on a show like Wife Swap, but to live every day with that balance of the two stereotypical families. Be tidy but take time with family not revolving around cleaning. Kids should have rules and structure, but they should also be granted freedoms as they grow and mature to decide who they want to be. Kindness and love are always the best way to communicate versus drill sergeant household.<br />
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I think what helped me the most was to see how keeping a clean home benefitted the whole family. I also loved seeing how one woman described that by spending time with another woman's daughter, her heart was "overcome with joy and fullness." That made me want to cry! I have always wanted to be a mother but recently it has felt like being a parent was a burden. Seeing that reaction, I can't wait for the day to meet my children and just learn about who they are and what makes them happy. What a beautiful thing to be a loving, nurturing parent in the life of a child. It must really be an honor.<br />
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So tonight, while resting to get feeling better, I started taking care of my home and myself. This is quite a feat for a Friday night! Instead of feeling pressure to live up my weekend evening I got to clean and paint my nails. I feel rested, I feel calm, and my heart is just happy. This is a rare experience in my single life to just be quiet. No television to drown the quiet moments but just my thoughts, candles, and sounds of a beautiful piano.<br />
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My God is a loving God who creates our bodies to wear down: To stop ourselves when we get too busied, stressed, and weary. What a blessing in disguise! I hate being sick but I'm happy to have a moment to slow down and rest my soul.<br />
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My friend Miranda used to call her devotional time with the lord "Sabbath Time." I thought that was funny because I just called it quiet time. But time with the Lord is a time of rest in the spirit from the tasks of everyday life. So I will be taking Sabbath Time tonight and finding rest in the wisdom of the Bible and peace in the quiet.<br />
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Also a shoutout to my cats! They have both been cuddling with me about every night & morning the past week. I love them!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-7088016311212805652013-06-12T13:36:00.002-07:002013-06-29T07:08:26.718-07:00Lord, help me overcome unbelief<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I've recently had a crisis of faith the past few months. I go to church regularly and I get filled with belief and wonder about my God. Then I get back home and get messages from the world about how I can do everything without God. Maybe even that God is a figment of belief to make us happy.<br />
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While I love rationalizing every part of beliefs, at some point it drives you bananas! It's like being a shell of a person. Never anything stable but just hoping to get a taste.<br />
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Today I thought about something I can't explain.<br />
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I have everything I really desire. I have a job doing something I love, own a home, a car, and have 2 adorable kitties. I have a wonderful family, a best friend, and wonderful support network. I eat good food and just started working out at the gym. I am healthy minus some feet problems. I volunteer and feel connected to my community.<br />
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With all of the "I" statements, I don't feel one thing: fulfilled. You can have it all and be happy but at the end of the day I am still yearning for more depth. I have the American Dream for a feminist. I know there will be change and growth (maybe a new job, a family, or a new environment) but even with change it just ends up just being the same.<br />
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I read something interesting from an excerpt of Tortured for Christ (paraphrase):<br />
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<b>A Communist professor was lecturing on athiesm and that God is not real. Christians were idiots for believing that they are more than just matter as all life was. A young Christian man in class stood up, threw his chair on the ground, and walked over to the professor and slapped him across the face!</b><br />
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<b>"Why have you done such a thing!? Arrest this man!" as is common for those who openly oppose Communism and Athiesm in closed countries to have a threat of.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>The young man looked at him and said that if we were all just matter, then the professor would not have gotten angry and mad when he was slapped across the face. He threw the chair on the ground and it did not react. There is a difference in the matter. One has a soul or a spirit about them that creates emotions and the other is an object.</b><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
I found this to be a very interesting thought as I explore faith. If we don't matter in the scheme of the universe, then why do we feel like we matter? Do my house cats think about their importance? Do spiders and snakes have feelings?<br />
<br />
As I explore why I matter and what next....I just have peace knowing that I am an image-bearer of an almighty God who loves who and what he has created.<br />
<br />
<h3 style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 1.05em;">
<span class="text Matt-6-25" id="en-NIV-23308">Do Not Worry, Matthew 6:25-34<sup class="crossreference" style="font-size: 0.9em; font-weight: normal; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23308AB" title="See cross-reference AB">AB</a>)"></sup></span></h3>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-25"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">25 </sup>“Therefore I tell you, do not worry<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23308AC" title="See cross-reference AC">AC</a>)"></sup> about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?</span><span class="text Matt-6-26" id="en-NIV-23309"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">26 </sup>Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23309AD" title="See cross-reference AD">AD</a>)"></sup> Are you not much more valuable than they?<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23309AE" title="See cross-reference AE">AE</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text Matt-6-27" id="en-NIV-23310"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">27 </sup>Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life<sup class="footnote" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="[<a href="#fen-NIV-23310e" title="See footnote e">e</a>]">[<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%206&version=NIV#fen-NIV-23310e" style="color: #b37162; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: top;" title="See footnote e">e</a>]</sup>?<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23310AF" title="See cross-reference AF">AF</a>)"></sup></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-28"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;"><br /></sup></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-28" id="en-NIV-23311"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">28 </sup>“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.</span> <span class="text Matt-6-29" id="en-NIV-23312"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">29 </sup>Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23312AG" title="See cross-reference AG">AG</a>)"></sup> was dressed like one of these.</span> <span class="text Matt-6-30" id="en-NIV-23313"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">30 </sup>If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23313AH" title="See cross-reference AH">AH</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text Matt-6-31" id="en-NIV-23314"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">31 </sup>So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’</span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-32"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;"><br /></sup></span></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="text Matt-6-32" id="en-NIV-23315"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">32 </sup>For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23315AI" title="See cross-reference AI">AI</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text Matt-6-33" id="en-NIV-23316"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">33 </sup>But seek first his kingdom<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23316AJ" title="See cross-reference AJ">AJ</a>)"></sup> and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.<sup class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-NIV-23316AK" title="See cross-reference AK">AK</a>)"></sup></span> <span class="text Matt-6-34" id="en-NIV-23317"><sup class="versenum" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;">34 </sup>Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.</span></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-17110858179189026062013-03-23T17:57:00.002-07:002013-03-23T18:03:36.575-07:00New Beginnings: Home Buying for a single gal<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC84OWgbVw_VkoU2lU1Deu325WN6HLQ88b7zBz_jdE5HvV6kgzWecAGv2rRVdRfS8bTMlAyIf_aY6dJZK14CvJlH3uKXegi65n_QDcExHsbLeDEPqdjNAiPim92hh7iI6D0nPl3Vk7HzY/s1600/IMG_2475.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC84OWgbVw_VkoU2lU1Deu325WN6HLQ88b7zBz_jdE5HvV6kgzWecAGv2rRVdRfS8bTMlAyIf_aY6dJZK14CvJlH3uKXegi65n_QDcExHsbLeDEPqdjNAiPim92hh7iI6D0nPl3Vk7HzY/s400/IMG_2475.jpg" width="338" /></a></div>
Let's get right to it: <b>I bought a house!</b> This has been a goal of mine since college and it's <i>the silliest single goal I've ever had</i>. To me, buying a house as a single woman meant I could take care of myself. I didn't need to wait to get married or for a man to do this for me.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyxHnNx6aXAUXZbJzUnh5rk-zZ22ul_zhomdvBtdUvz_S5yE3ZSbQwTc2LLX7tCT00p3QKgwknrlGW6c0WclFkR8DfRmbiRVUETGezDeebYbbeYtgx6MUoIFGdjc4hoLvAhI7FzIQZDXQ/s1600/IMG_2478.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyxHnNx6aXAUXZbJzUnh5rk-zZ22ul_zhomdvBtdUvz_S5yE3ZSbQwTc2LLX7tCT00p3QKgwknrlGW6c0WclFkR8DfRmbiRVUETGezDeebYbbeYtgx6MUoIFGdjc4hoLvAhI7FzIQZDXQ/s320/IMG_2478.jpg" width="227" /></a>I never had career goals, just a goal to buy a house. In the process of reaching this goal I've had a lot of time for reflection. While this goal is note-worthy and a symbol of success in the modern world, I find it silly that I ever put my hope and dreams into "owning" a thing.<br />
<br />
Last year I almost bought a house that is very similar to this one but it needed a lot of work. I was hung-ho and it was an AMAZING deal: only $36k with about $30-50k of work needed. Through that process things started going wrong and it wasn't as much of a "dream-house" as I thought. I wanted to fix up a house and be a part of the Springfield story of turning something that was unwanted into a beautiful home.<br />
<br />
As the list of chores to fix the house got longer my heart grew with anxiety. At first it was manageable but the list got longer every day. The anxiety literally kept me from functioning and I had to take a few days off from work because of the buzzing in my brain.<br />
<br />
Putting all my hope and pride aside, I prayed and listened to the Lord. I searched and found that I had been spending all of my time searching for a house and seeking a house so much that I totally forgot about God in everything. I was going to spend time and money on a house when in reality God was drawing me to invest in something else. I let go of that house and the dream for now.<br />
<br />
About two months later I started a new job working at Fort Caroline Middle school, serving students who were really struggling through school. I worked long hours and weekends occasionally, totally throwing myself into the students. I had totally given up on the idea of buying a house but would still check Trulia from time to time just to check on the market. The prices of homes in Springfield were steadily increasing and the inventory decreasing. I just pushed the idea away and focused on my work.<br />
<br />
This year I took a different position within Communities In Schools to connect adults from the community into our schools to serve as mentors to our 6th graders. This in itself has been a blessing for a couple of different reasons. My landlord was talking about renovations to our apartment and gave me a not so polite "your cat can find a new home or you can find a new home" a few months ago so I new I needed to find a new place. I wasn't thinking about buying, but was casually looking for a new home. I had once again decided to stay put, with the landlords agreement until further notice.<br />
<br />
One day I was painting and Ariane just said, "you should buy my little house. I'm moving and its perfect for you. I already talked to my parents about it and they said it would be great!" I laughed! Well, it was probably too expensive, too this, too that. but I think i told her "maybe, that might be interesting." <br />
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To make a long story short, it wasn't too expensive, it wasn't too small (as I thought), and it wasn't too bad ;-) I was one of the last people to receive a $15,000 grant to boost neighborhood development, my grandmother had the wisdom about money and saving for future generations that I was able to put money down on the house, and when I moved in I literally thought it was too big for just me. This house is less than 1000 sqft, no garage, no driveway and I'm just feeling so incredibly blessed about everything it does have!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEsETUrHU7MfUhQDqO69hbocbtMzc2XGVPlC1rQOZMIztLPiSRZn3nXv7EylUQJ6NVOwYDRZIXDzqK6JoKCjNFwiDqMr7tvwtSKtnULottU9wZzCmg11Kq8x1x2uJRsqfi10mzjKkpHxA/s1600/first+house.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEsETUrHU7MfUhQDqO69hbocbtMzc2XGVPlC1rQOZMIztLPiSRZn3nXv7EylUQJ6NVOwYDRZIXDzqK6JoKCjNFwiDqMr7tvwtSKtnULottU9wZzCmg11Kq8x1x2uJRsqfi10mzjKkpHxA/s320/first+house.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>
I'm writing this because I don't want anyone to feel like they need to buy a house because I did. Facebook seems to stem jealousy (even if we don't recognize it) and the need to keep up with the Joneses. I was blessed with an opportunity to achieve a dream and I know that God lead me to it in the quiet moments, in the workings of His hands. The point for me was not home-ownership but Jacksonville ownership. I had been so unsettled and always wanted to move and not knowing if or when that would happen. Now I know I can invest, plant my feet, dig deep and be a part of the renewal of this city. When my life feels less than perfect, I'm not going to think about running away to another place to fix things, <i>I'm going to run to God to heal my hurts</i>.<br />
<br />
That is the blessing God gave me through home-ownership. Not just stuff, but peace. My new goal is that as I live out the next 5 years in this home, this will be a Joshua 1:9 house. It will be a home of mercy, love, forgiveness, peace, and comfort. It will be a refuge for the hurting and the abandoned. It will be a place of God's healing. It will also be a place of tasty food and healthy hearts.<br />
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Thank you to first: my God who has been with me and pursued my heart every step of the way and then to my family for being emotionally and spiritually supportive and having the fore-thought to support future generations, and lastly to my friends who are my treasures. Also, a big shout-out to the Simon family for being incredible and helping me along the way. You all are pretty amazing and I love your family - you have blessed me for sure along the way and I am happy to help you not be a landlord anymore :-)<br />
<br />
My advice for other people in their 20s considering buying a house:<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>Don't ever buy more than you need</li>
<li>Whatever you qualify for a loan, buy something at least $15-25k less than that.</li>
<li>Check to see your intentions and your pride</li>
<li>Be realistic about your needs (having granite countertops and stainless steel appliances wont make you happier than someone who doesnt have them).</li>
<li>Be completely open to God's leading</li>
</ol>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-36028956386382335722012-09-23T15:11:00.002-07:002012-09-23T15:11:54.944-07:00RegretI can't understand why I feel this way. But I still miss Andy after all of this time. He was my best friend. I thought we would get really old together. Now we are just getting older apart. I miss the way he would hug me when he or I got off the plane to visit each other. I miss him tickling me and his spiderman underpants. I even miss his stupid jokes. I just miss laughing with him and talking about everything under the moon. I miss joining twin beds together just to cuddle.<br />
<br />
I wish he understood marriage. I wish that he understood that each person has to be intentional and pursue each other, even when its the last thing you want to do. I wish I hadn't taken him for granted. I wish I had appreciated his little gestures more instead of expecting grand ones.<br />
<br />
We both lost something that could have been beautiful. A real relationship, a friendship. Now, I feel like there is nothing I can do but wait it out. Wait for it not to hurt so bad or wait for something else to come along. It's hard for me to want to share my life with anyone else.<br />
<br />
Maybe it was bad all along. Maybe it wasn't worth saving. Maybe we will be really happy with other people. I just can't see that now. I just feel alone and abandoned. and hurt. even after all of this time.<br />
<br />
and that is the worst part. i still feel every bit of the pain. which means i'll have to move on.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-20541056365835155142012-09-04T23:38:00.002-07:002012-09-04T23:38:29.124-07:00A Dream & a KISS<br />
So my sister is amazing. After she went to a KISS concert (she really has little idea of who they are or their music) and saw them backstage, she called me to tell me about a dream she had about me this weekend. Then she told me that one of the guys said hi to her and Gene Simmons smiled at her (of course).<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFTvnCjiF6ugBk7i7qJw1ZZ6LdI1qrzH14aPArwo-QJiFXRWYG_PEd3QTJXJ4-dqFqfJjLZIxGxsF-RPadvr4-NMaqTZqS0ZpBa00oUjNk5gTP6m9W3EN-HP7w7WvvShYqNJVb5bDcF7A/s1600/250346_10102243161233753_1013386150_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFTvnCjiF6ugBk7i7qJw1ZZ6LdI1qrzH14aPArwo-QJiFXRWYG_PEd3QTJXJ4-dqFqfJjLZIxGxsF-RPadvr4-NMaqTZqS0ZpBa00oUjNk5gTP6m9W3EN-HP7w7WvvShYqNJVb5bDcF7A/s320/250346_10102243161233753_1013386150_n.jpg" width="239" /></a><br />
So she called me at 1:08am ET to tell me in her dream I had dated several guys, none of them were working out so I just decided to settle with the last guy I dated because he was really good to me.<br />
<br />
That seems like a simple dream but over the weekend I really was thinking this same thing. I was considering texting this person to reconnect because he was a good guy and maybe I was being too..... [fill in the blank with female trait]. I didn't feel good about that so I didn't do it. I was still feeling a little sad but I resolved not to involve anyone in my loneliness.<br />
<br />
Then I read in a book about relationship myths [which i cannot stand the author because he complains about women] but he had a few valid points. one valid point that spoke to me. sexual attraction does not constitute a good or compatible match. this was made obvious to me recently. it truly is about deep love and friendship. that is what makes not just a relationship, but a family. a couple should be all in, like a serious friendship. you accept each other for who they are and treat them with the respect you would have for a best friend. except that additionally you have sex. hopefully as often as you'd each like! but the point of sex is to create a bond and intimacy that is shared by NO ONE else.<br />
<br />
Then Ariane is totally in love with someone like this. It makes me so happy for her and confident that I've been chasing the wrong direction when it comes to compatibility. And i think the problem is that i've been chasing after it. or looking for it at every corner.<br />
<br />
So after she told me her dream she told me exactly the kind of person i am and who i needed in a man. then she hung up. that is so shelby. wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me something random and then hopefully not be killed by a murderer. i am calling her at 8am just to make sure.<br />
<br />
I feel like God is looking out for me. He used my sister to share something with me that would just confirm that he is still looking out for me, no matter how much i try to ruin things along the way. So i'm writing this so I can look back and see that a dream and a little KISS made my night. no looking back now, only moving forward. and i'm not going to worry about it so much anymore, just have a little faith in the process of finding a life companion.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-53592287326323140582012-07-25T19:02:00.001-07:002012-07-25T19:02:53.212-07:00Hump dayToday, just feeling sad. I thought I had gotten over my hump and then realized it was more than just one.<br />
<br />
this past year has been weird. i went through a series of 2 month relationships, each important to me in special ways. each, i pictured to be "it" and i was really wrong. i think part of the issue is them, but the other part is deep down i know it isn't right. but that's the part I'm having trouble with. one of the guys seemed to be absolutely everything i have been dreaming of and hoping for. when i complain about one guy, i describe "him" to a T. i think i was afraid. scared i would mess it up, scared to commit too soon, scared i'd lose myself. personally, i'm just hoping i was right to trust myself and that something deep down wasn't right but i'm afraid i'll never know.<br />
<br />
i am having to totally rely on God to take care of my heart and take the burden of my fears. i don't know how to do this and really walk with the Lord. I've started spending my mornings reading the Bible and learning verses. it's been calming and helps me feel strong. I notice [also through the eyes of people who love me] that my focus is on dating and finding the one. and by focus i mean "preoccupied." I always end up feeling empty and dissatisfied because it isn't all that i've dreamt it up to be. I think i've been looking for someone to rescue me, but i've got to do that for myself. That shouldn't be anyone else's responsibility.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-85675763146218646642012-07-03T04:48:00.003-07:002012-07-03T04:49:07.925-07:00Guestbook of LifeI recently read a devotional about a family who found a guest book at a vacation condo they were staying at in South Carolina. In it, some were really positive and thankful, others were critical. The author mentioned how in life, we are just visitors here for a short time and our real home is in heaven. What message would I be leaving with my life currently?<br />
<br />
Probably something like this, "Once I was old enough to see the world from a big perspective, I realized it was a modest vacation. But decided to make the best of life, and tried to help others see the beauty in it! Sometimes got down because of the negativity, but let God renew my spirit weekly."<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/girlfriends/">Girlfriends in God</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-15840631480022894692012-06-29T21:28:00.000-07:002012-06-29T21:28:08.954-07:00Break-AwayI'm feeling close to just letting go, no holding back, just being me. I am always trying to be an idea of what I think a person like me should be. I'm just never happy. Sometimes I feel so comfortable in my skin, but mostly I just feel awkward. Being tall is partly to blame. Anyway, I finally feel that at the age of 26 1/2 I'm realizing that I can just be me and stop worrying what my parents, people at church, or society will think of me or do with me. Other people are always attempting to correct my behavior...but I'm a grown woman.<br />
<br />
"Don't date this kind of person because others won't accept you" "If you get a tattoo then you can't get this type of job" "It's not going to be different anywhere else" "If you keep doing this you'll never get married"<br />
<br />
I'm just sick of attempting to have an image of perfect. I just want to be at peace with who I am, imperfect flaws and everything. I want to feel deeply and be able to really love without fear, guilt, or shame. I always wished I could be like a boy because they seemed more free. Girls have too many rules placed on us. Some rules are told us from the time we were little, others are unspoken but understood based on culture. I just wanted to climb trees and light things on fire when I was younger. I really just wanted to feel completely free: free of fear.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I'm ready for a new chapter in my life>break away from the nest and discover my true self.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-63037025815377041982012-05-27T19:09:00.000-07:002012-05-27T19:09:08.709-07:00TS Beryl & Steel MagnoliasThere's nothing more disappointing than looking forward to something all day then it being rescheduled. although i might say, i'm glad people have made sad movies to help people who usually won't cry to actually just get along with it! you're allowed to feel sorry for yourself only for just a little bit then you have to get over it. I'm writing this down so i can remember that i already cried over several things tonight so now i've got to move on. A great way to start Hurricane season. <i>bring on the storms, I've got candles to ride them out.</i>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-25597195718245035132012-05-03T15:23:00.000-07:002012-05-03T15:23:23.174-07:00bleep.Bloop.i feel totally out of sorts. dehydration and stress induced headache. i can't plan a vacation. too much, too soon. i can almost sense the summer being over before it begins! i think its a money headache too. i just would like to be able to relax and pick a vacation/adventure with a friend and not think about the cost. it seems selfish because some people can't pay their rent and don't have the luxury to dream about spending $1000 on a vacation. in the back of my head i think about all of the things i could do with that money: pay down debt, take a few classes, do a leadership thing....<br />
<br />
vacation options:<br />
1. Southern Utah camping hiking trip. would like at least 1-3 friends (plane ticket $350, rental car $350, gas $250)<br />
2. Call Jinky and just do anything she is doing this summer<br />
3. Go on a cruise to the Caribbean<br />
4. visit exchange student friends in Europe ($750 flight: 3 weeks), stay with them and use public transportation<br />
5. go somewhere and work casually (not with kids)<br />
<br />
just feeling a little lost. at least this helps me get it out on "paper"<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-9847635843731919782012-04-30T20:22:00.002-07:002012-04-30T20:26:49.394-07:00One YearI truly and earnestly believe that God is the great Romancer and writes our stories if we let Him. If we seek Him first then we'll find a greater love & timing than we can imagine.<br />
<br />
My one true love has been Christ but I've noticed that I tend to date men who don't love the Lord. I can't quite figure this out except for the fact that by bonding with a Christian man means I have to face and conquer things in my life that I hate about myself--sin that really holds me captive.<br />
<br />
Saying this, I know I need time to heal. I've been assuming that dating other people would do that but it hasn't. When I was 16 I said "goodbye to dating" for one year. Funny enough, I wasn't dateable anyway (in the words of my friend Murdock). I do remember that a family friend, Maro Hionedes, wanted to honor God in her dating relationships by not pursuing a relationship for one year after a break-up of a longtime boyfriend. I remember how hard it was but how much she grew from the experience. From my viewpoint, she had a different perspective on God in respect to the role it plays in a serious committed relationship. There is a whole story involved but I realize how courageous it was for her to give that part of her life over to God.<br />
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It's been on my heart to offer God my whole heart, to spend a year healing and becoming the woman I was created for in this life. I gave up everything that makes me beautiful, for a chance at romance. The most beautiful I could ever be is when I am honoring the Lord. I've been using charm and physical beauty to attract men but in reality that has been a false and shallow show. <i>I want something deeper and more meaningful. I only want to get married once and I'd love to build a life with another person. A friend, companion, and lover. Someone who loves God and others. We draw each other to Christ and not farther away.</i><br />
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<b>Starting May 1st,</b> I'm making this promise to God to start working in me. I'll need the strength to move forward in this journey. To be honest, im scared as hell. Facing your demons isn't for the faint of heart. I will continue to build friendships but it can't go farther than that for this year until God reveals Himself to me and/or another person. Which means i'll have to say "no" a lot - not my specialty. I do know that if this is from God, then He will be my rock.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-29258125344402556622012-04-22T19:36:00.002-07:002012-04-22T19:36:53.730-07:00The Beginning of an Adventure!I think I finally have figured how to spend my ridiculous amount of annual leave. If I can afford to to do it, I'm going to Southern Utah & the Grand Canyon to go hiking and camping in July-August. Now I just need to figure out how many days I have and pick the start date!<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-64335199814205412842012-04-16T18:15:00.004-07:002012-04-16T18:36:29.498-07:00Sigh No Morehaving trouble going to the Lord with my worries & anxieties. also, feeling like i'm relapsing a little bit. can't tell if its hormones, mood cycles, or something deeper. I've been pretty happy and content but recently have felt lonely..... for true intimacy. This isn't something that can be really filled by just any person. intimacy can be faked for only so long before its clear that it doesn't exist. I'm dealing with the difficulty of being intimate with God and being faithful.. I get easily seduced away from that intimacy by other insatiable things.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-54925620536020151382012-03-18T21:58:00.002-07:002012-03-18T22:05:57.324-07:00Silent KillerI'm heart broken by my own silence and passiveness. I literally feel myself closing up and becoming harder. the worst is that i want to talk to someone about it but i just cant. its too deep & painful.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-79761204061449328582012-03-08T04:25:00.004-08:002012-03-08T04:36:50.020-08:00RenewalMy friend made a post on Facebook about wishing to hide people's comments about meals/food and God. It just settled weird with me. I hate feeling oppositional and often I try to be sensitive to other people's feelings and beliefs. But then when I do that, it makes me feel off. Like I can't be myself.<div><br /></div><div>This morning I just thought about this: <i>I follow a God who became man to reach out to us and give us hope for unity, peace, love, and understanding. He was murdered for his teachings and opposition to worshipping tradition, religion, and ritual. His followers were tortured and murdered for refusing to worship the Emperor [Nero]. Those who profess their love for Christ are still be executed to this day all over the world.</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>So all "WWJD" bracelets aside, who am I willing to be for my God? Passionate pursuit of the cross ends in death to self but brings abundant, full, purposeful life. I feel like I'm transforming from the inside out. It's been a slow process but the closer I draw to God, the easier it is to recognize things that are not of God. All I know is that life will be an adventure and not as status quo if I'm willing to let go.</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-56502016794504247732012-02-28T15:28:00.002-08:002012-02-28T15:36:47.778-08:00Staying BusyI'm starting to spread myself thin again. I never know how to do it gracefully while getting important things done, like cleaning. Although some pretty amazing things happen when I get going! <div><br /></div><div>I'm planning a series for girls at my school where I get 12th grade ladies from the local high school to mentor the 8th grade girls to get them ready for the transition out of middle school. I also want to put together a career fair for boys at the school. It's one of those things that I just need to schedule a date and then I can do the work around it.</div><div><br /></div><div>also planning to do a neighborhood rally for the local elementary school to get people from my neighborhood more involved in the elementary and middle schools in the area. </div><div><br /></div><div>so basically, i need to make a plan/to-do list and get working! all of this will definitely help me to stay focused while i'm waiting on the house....</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1848694172715395687.post-54821748275244376852012-02-20T18:11:00.008-08:002012-02-20T18:58:30.264-08:00A Call for the Living<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlfCeiEj9swcJeyBfrAwMTQN4m805Q2TlDlxLMTqustV8Mdyv4FylkqL2P-vmRqupVQ3WJwrP2GPjPx3JU_YXPM1stty16LjAoDuu9NHox5wZ1Qh5_75K4lrdi1OZLaShClbNTHttC9B4/s1600/IMG_0473.JPG" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlfCeiEj9swcJeyBfrAwMTQN4m805Q2TlDlxLMTqustV8Mdyv4FylkqL2P-vmRqupVQ3WJwrP2GPjPx3JU_YXPM1stty16LjAoDuu9NHox5wZ1Qh5_75K4lrdi1OZLaShClbNTHttC9B4/s320/IMG_0473.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5711411597069147938" /></a><br />I am convinced that the key to gaining strength is by identifying and breaking our weakness. That can only be done through discipline to break ourselves of relentless pain and rebuild ourselves to create healing. Strength is not an idea but an act that must be learned.<br /><div><br /></div><div>My weakness is lazy satisfaction. It creeps in and I constantly have to fight it. For one example, I've been messy my whole life and only cleaned my room after weeks of mess. Now, I have to fight myself and give myself a pep talk to FINISH cleaning once I start. It's becoming easier the more I do it and I can't wait until these things that seem so hard are only second nature. My BIGGEST fear in being a wife/mother is cooking every meal of the day. for several hungry bellies. I barely make the effort to cook for myself and when I do, it's for "fun!" I asked my mom how she did it. She simply replied, "<i>When you love someone, you want to cook for them. But there were years when I barely made meals at all from exhaustion</i>." Basically, you just take it in stride. Hopefully, with a family comes the partnership of chores so one person doesn't have to do it alone.</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, the reason I'm thinking about discipline is because I really want to get in shape and run a race coming up. Its a 5k (pretty much the easiest thing ever) but the most I've ever ran is maybe one mile. I did some basic stretching and realized how important it was. I haven't felt some of those muscles in months. How could I ever begin to run/exercise without knowing my body and preparing each one for the task to come? Whenever I exercise out of the blue (50 sit-ups and 20 pushups) I rarely stretch. It makes sense why my workouts are few and far between. I start with the end in mind (i.e. "<i>when will this end?</i>"). Instead I should start with the intention to break my body. <span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><p style="font-size: small; display: inline !important; "><b>Ecclesiastes 9:10</b></p></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><p style="font-size: small; display: inline !important; "> Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might....</p></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><p style="font-size: small; display: inline !important; "><br /></p></i></span></div><div>There are a lot of people who make this process their religion. They are intense about the acts of discipline to build this strength. But these acts are primarily mental and physical. It does nothing to address the matters of the heart or soul. Discipline is not the primary but the secondary. It's a response to faith, not faith itself. We fix our eyes heavenward to continue the path of perseverance because we are created physical, emotional, spiritual beings.</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:small;"><i><p style="display: inline !important; "><b><br /></b></p></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:85%;"><i><p style="display: inline !important; "><b>Hebrews 12:1-3</b></p></i></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"><i><b>1</b> Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us <b>run with perseverance </b>the race marked out for us, <sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-30215" style="line-height: normal; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: text-top; ">2</sup> fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. <sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-30216" style="line-height: normal; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: text-top; ">3</sup> Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, <b>so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.</b></i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"><i><p> </p></i></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"><i><b><br /></b></i></span></span></div><div><b>We all suffer from some kind of weakness we must break whether its laziness, apathy, discontent, mopiness, bad relationships, addictions, giving up, greed, selfishness, gossip, etc. aka what religious folk call "sin." Answering the call to awakening is the faith part. Discipline is the adventure. All are called but few will answer. </b></div><div><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div><b><i>Romans 1:19-21</i></b></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:85%;"><i><sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-27950" style="line-height: normal; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: text-top; ">19</sup> since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. <sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-27951" style="line-height: normal; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: text-top; ">20</sup> For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.</i></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-family:'Charis SIL', charis, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:85%;"><i><sup class="versenum" id="en-NIV-27952" style="line-height: normal; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: text-top; ">21</sup> For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.</i></span></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i><br /></i></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0