Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Starting Over

This past weekend I moved into my. own. place.
It's all mine and I don't have to share it with anyone.
The greatest part is that I can also share it with everyone! I can't wait to cook and clean and show myself I can do it!

Right now, I'm feeling incredibly blessed to be where I am with the people in my life who are so supportive. My friends are amazing people and wonderful! This is a big shout out to: Stephanie Roberts, Sara & Aaron Bomar, and Ryan Cottrell for helping me with my move last weekend.

With new beginnings comes ends too. I think it might be a good thing. Growing up is strange because you have all of these memories and images of yourself from all points of your life. It is hard to combine them & disacociate from them at the same time. I used to be this person that I don't think I am anymore. I've become an seems like I take less risks.

Ive always been pretty rebellious so now I just do it with a little style and grace. I don't like people telling me what to do or how to do. Don't define me please. I was recently annoyed becuase my friend told me I was into preppy guys and that was okay because that is just me. I'm not into any type of guy except for someone who makes me laugh, is a hard worker, nice looking, and loooves hanging out with me! It is also very important that we share the same values.

But, it doesn't matter about "type" if you can't value a relationship. I've done some soul searching the past few weeks to see if maybe I could have been the problem. I think in relationships I can be self-destructive because I have a big guard up. It's always been hard for me to understand why anyone would actually want to date ONLY me. It makes me think something is wrong with them. Isnt that messed up? It's even weirder because I think I'm great! It's just that I'm not used to being around other people and having to relate to someone in my personal/private space (secret single behavior). I just hope that my immaturaty in previous relationships can be forgiven and that I can ammend them in future relationships.

I just hope I will be a little more risky with love and be open to sharing my life with someone else.

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