Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Sister Sister

Shelby is graduating from FSU and I am feeling a bit lost as an older sibling. I did what I could do to get her to this point and she has followed my footsteps pretty much the entire way. My purpose as an older sister is fading as she forges her own path for the very first time. Shelby storms Nashville in October. Although, I am ridiculously mourning the idea that I will have no idea about the life she leads, I couldn't be happier for another human being. She is my main reason for living whether she knows it or not. Sometimes I keep her at a distance but I think sisters must at some point to preserve their own sense of being. There are things that make me super jealous and I am sure vice versa. At the end of the day, she is the only one I will ever love. We grew up playing magic carpet ride, house, teacher, Power Rangers...she did whatever crazy idea I came up with and made me feel like I was important enough to look up to. Being an older sister is tough because it's like being a parent and a friend in one. Parents do not have to be friends and friends should not be parents. Sisters are the worst though because there are so many expectations. For us at least. I think I am pretty terrible and not very thoughtful. I have always been so focused on myself [egocentric possibly--probably] that it was hard for me to be empathetic to her needs. This is my apology blog to the start of a new relationship where we are adults making our own lives and laboring to stay in each others.

1 comment:

Mary Nell Hart said...

Lauren, you continue to amaze and inspire me. You are such an amazing young woman. Your sister is very lucky to have you. You're so right, at the end of the day...there is family, and the postive intereaction we have been able to have with other human beings. I'm feel so blessed to know you! xo ~ Mary